Battle Over Self

Lucius Flavius Arrianus, widely known as Arrian, was more than just an author; he was a highly respected historian, philosopher, and military commander who served the Roman Emperor Hadrian. Around 130 AD, Arrian penned The Campaigns of Alexander, a book many historians consider the most accurate account of the life and conquests of Alexander the Great.

After meticulously detailing Alexander’s incredible achievements—his empire-building, his triumphs in battle, and the sheer accomplishment of his worldly dreams—Arrian pauses to make a profound philosophical observation:

"That none of these things, I say, can make a man happy, unless he can win one more victory in addition to those the world thinks so great - the victory over himself."

Arrian then relates a tragic story that perfectly illustrates this point: the death of Cleitus, Alexander’s friend since childhood. As Alexander’s conquests took him farther from his Macedonian homeland, his character began to drift, swayed by the wealth and power of his new domain. He surrounded himself with sycophants—men always willing to bolster his ego and excuse his moral decline.

Cleitus despised these "yes" men and passionately disliked the direction Alexander was heading. One night, fueled by excessive drinking, Alexander’s entourage was declaring him a god. Cleitus protested loudly. When the sycophants continued their flattery, Cleitus—growing louder and angrier—reminded Alexander of a simple human truth. He recounted the story of saving Alexander’s life when they fought the Persian cavalry at Granicus, exclaiming: "This is the hand that saved you, Alexander, on that day!"

Enraged by this defiance of his supposed divinity, Alexander jumped up, grabbed a spear, and killed his lifelong friend.

In this moment, Alexander—undefeated by all the armies of the world—showed himself to be a slave to his own anger and drunkenness. He deeply regretted what he had done and lived with remorse for the rest of his life. To his credit, Alexander made no attempt to justify his action. He knew he had killed his friend, and no worldly excuse could cover it.

In his entire life, Alexander the Great only lost one battle: The battle with self. He never won the "one more victory" Arrian spoke of.

Alexander's story reminds us that the greatest conflict is not fought on a field of conquest, but within the walls of our own hearts. For us, spiritual growth isn't about numbers, programs, or outward accomplishments; it’s about "Growing with God."

As we pursue a deeper, richer, life-giving relationship with God, we are given the power that Alexander never found: the strength to conquer self. Let us prioritize the victory over ourselves—over our anger, our pride, our impatience, and our self-interest—through the grace of Christ. Because only the victory over self leads to the true peace and freedom that even one of the world's greatest conquerors couldn't achieve.