Forgiveness 101: Lessons of a Toddler

It’s 7:30 PM going on midnight. I'm rushing to get 3 girls ready for bed. While I’m trying to get jammies and diapers and room picked up, Emma (our then 2.5 y/o), with just her diaper on, is standing between her 2 big sisters’ twin beds. Her forlorn eyes look straight up at me as she quietly mumbles,

“Mommy, my tortilla … “

My mind races back to earlier that day.

In the rush of getting a belated lunch on the table, dishing out the Mexican food on each of our 4 plates like a sloppy cafeteria worker, I looked and saw Emma gnawing on the wadded-up giant tortilla we were all going to split and share 4 ways. So I quickly grabbed it out of her mouth, thinking I could still save it for all of us, planning to give her the cheesy roll-up, her size, heating in the mic…

At my hasty yank without explanation, she crumbled in tears – after a half an hour she was still inconsolable – nothing was working – cuddling and crying on my chest, she’d push away the cheesy roll up offered with a “NO!” Rocking with Daddy and reading books didn’t work either – she wanted Mommy. So I took her back into my arms and finally she was willing to go eat lunch without crying.

Now back to the present bedtime shuffle, staring at her sweet little face in the bedroom, I clarify her comment, “Your tortilla at lunch today?”

She pops her thumb out of her mouth to answer, “Yeah, you took my tortilla away. You need to say sorry.” She sticks her thumb right back in and looks away.

You need to say sorry.

My heart melting, I stoop down to her eye level, reach out to rub her back and say, “Ohhh, Emma, I am sooo sorry to have taken your tortilla away so fast at lunch time!! I didn’t take the time to explain anything. I was hoping we could all share that tortilla. I am just so sorry. That really hurt your heart and I can see why. Emma, look at Mommy’s eyes…”

She looks right into my eyes, index finger covering her nose, thumb-sucking away.

“Will you forgive me?” I ask earnestly.

“Yeah, I foh-give you, Mommy. I wuv you, Mommy.”

We hug.

We pray. I thank God for forgiveness. She thanks God for Mommy.

We are healed.

Forgiveness 101 from a toddler: to go to sleep happy, choose forgiveness. Forgiveness

oftentimes requires confrontation, communication, and compassion. My prayer is that we will all have the courage of my 2-year-old to advocate for the (oftentimes) painful yet freeing process of forgiveness. Thanks, Emma.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man (or Mommy or toddler) is powerful and effective.”

James 5:16